About and Contact


I write to heal and let go.

Saying ”I” is like an affirmation, a wish that we will one day be one person.

I have been diagnosed with an unspecified dissociative disorder, until further assessment and treatment.

On this blog, all names and details have been changed in order to protect identities.

Oh and English isn’t my maternal language so please bear with me 🙂


If you wish to contact me, e-mail


How it started

I first wrote this blog on RANS, it was then called How we came to be. RANS is short for Ritual Abuse Network Scotland. It is a charity striving to make support available to all survivors of ritual abuse. This is a link to their webpage:


The RANS forum is for survivors only, which means you’re not likely to find it unless you’re looking. Some readers asked if I could somehow publish my blog, making it more accessible. That’s why I started this blog! I’m deeply grateful to RANS, it is thanks to them I found the courage to write.

Why on a sunny couch?

I write sitting on an imaginary sunny couch, in a lush summer garden. It’s a comforting place to be when dwelling on the past. One of my favorite authors, who’d survived a world war, wrote this:

Next morning after a late breakfast, the wizard was sitting with Frodo by the open window of the study. A bright fire was on the hearth, but the sun was warm, and the wind was in the South. Everything looked fresh, and the new green of spring was shimmering in the fields and on the tips of the trees’ fingers.


‘Last night you began to tell me strange things about my ring, Gandalf,’ he said. ‘And then you stopped, because you said that such matters were best left until daylight.

Frodo in the Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien