Kategori: Chronological order
-
Only his Princess
BIG TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, physical abuse, torture, programming. This blog post could be very triggering. I choose to publish it since it details how an abuser creates his own alter within a dissociative child. One could argue this knowledge should not be spread. Is it better the methods continue to be secretly…
-
Life of the Normal Self
This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. I sit on the porch beside my Grandfather, considering green lawns and flowerbeds. ”You think the bad memories hurt”, he ruminates, sipping a little on an amber, firey liquid. ”You’ll see. When you’re my age the bad, the scary memories…
-
Christmas Day
BIG TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse (not explicit), rape, sleeping draughts, suicide attempt. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, 5 years old: Camilla opens the door when Mother and I knock on it. She is overjoyed: ”It’s Day today!” She heralds, arms flung wide…
-
Off the hook
BIG TRIGGER warning – child trafficking, learning to kill animals. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, 5 years old: ”Can’t you lie for our sake?” Eric is upset. ”You always lie, about everything! Why can’t you lie about this?” He’s keeping himself together while tears…
-
After
TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, trafficking, cult abuse. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere, 5 years old: ”If someone asks whether you belong to The Society or The Family, you say The Family”, Eric’s mother instructs me. ”What is The Family?” I ask. We’re…
-
The Scary Thing
BIG TRIGGER warning – S***nism and human sacrifice (no details, not explicit). This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere, 5 years old: Grandfather gives me a serious look: ”Do you want to see a scary thing?” ”Yes”, I say. ”She can’t consent to it”, Grandmother shakes…
-
Before
TRIGGER warning – cult abuse, dissociation. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere and Giselle, 5 years old: It was a bleak, sad autumn. The fun and beautiful things shone all the more brightly against the backdrop of mournfulness. Out of all of us, Bianca was…
-
Out of the ashes, into the fire
Trigger warning – drunkenness, threats of sacrifice, cult abuse This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere, 5 years old: There is still warmth in the air at noon when the sun shines over all of the playground. We played until I got really hungry and then…
-
Giselle
This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. My best memory is how I got my name. I’ve replayed it in my mind a million times. I was seven years old and I was crying when I rushed into the kitchen. Eric was washing the dishes and asked…
-
Yearly torment
TRIGGER warning – hypnosis. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Each cult has some peculiar traditions. Our family had a yearly torment designed only for Eric and me. It started about a week after the horrors in the barn. Guinevere, 5 years old: Auntie, Grandma and…
Writing our heart out 