Kategori: Life story
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Only his Princess
BIG TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, physical abuse, torture, programming. This blog post could be very triggering. I choose to publish it since it details how an abuser creates his own alter within a dissociative child. One could argue this knowledge should not be spread. Is it better the methods continue to be secretly…
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Life of the Normal Self
This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. I sit on the porch beside my Grandfather, considering green lawns and flowerbeds. ”You think the bad memories hurt”, he ruminates, sipping a little on an amber, firey liquid. ”You’ll see. When you’re my age the bad, the scary memories…
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Christmas Day
BIG TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse (not explicit), rape, sleeping draughts, suicide attempt. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, 5 years old: Camilla opens the door when Mother and I knock on it. She is overjoyed: ”It’s Day today!” She heralds, arms flung wide…
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Off the hook
BIG TRIGGER warning – child trafficking, learning to kill animals. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, 5 years old: ”Can’t you lie for our sake?” Eric is upset. ”You always lie, about everything! Why can’t you lie about this?” He’s keeping himself together while tears…
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After
TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, trafficking, cult abuse. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere, 5 years old: ”If someone asks whether you belong to The Society or The Family, you say The Family”, Eric’s mother instructs me. ”What is The Family?” I ask. We’re…
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The Scary Thing
BIG TRIGGER warning – S***nism and human sacrifice (no details, not explicit). This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere, 5 years old: Grandfather gives me a serious look: ”Do you want to see a scary thing?” ”Yes”, I say. ”She can’t consent to it”, Grandmother shakes…
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Before
TRIGGER warning – cult abuse, dissociation. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere and Giselle, 5 years old: It was a bleak, sad autumn. The fun and beautiful things shone all the more brightly against the backdrop of mournfulness. Out of all of us, Bianca was…
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Out of the ashes, into the fire
Trigger warning – drunkenness, threats of sacrifice, cult abuse This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere, 5 years old: There is still warmth in the air at noon when the sun shines over all of the playground. We played until I got really hungry and then…
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Yearly torment
TRIGGER warning – hypnosis. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Each cult has some peculiar traditions. Our family had a yearly torment designed only for Eric and me. It started about a week after the horrors in the barn. Guinevere, 5 years old: Auntie, Grandma and…
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Witness
This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca: ”Can we have another cassette tape, please?” Some of Eric’s father’s music cassette’s are so worn they’ve broken and now he’s throwing them away. ”Remember to throw the cassette in the bin, I can’t have you littering the neighborhood.”…