Etikett: autotherapy
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Cherry blossoms in my heart
TRIGGER warning – violent assault, threats, child sexual abuse, manipulation. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, 6 years old: A soft wind caresses my face and cherry petals carried by it swirl everywhere. I skip to catch the petals, as I walk down the street…
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Whispers from lost days
This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, teenager: High summer and not a cloud in the sky. A soft breeze sways the branches of the trees as we walk slowly down the old familiar road. It’s such a beautiful day, but I feel empty. I’m taking…
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Tiger Cub
TRIGGER warning – bondage, forced sedation, threats and physical violence. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca: It was so vivid. I was in my teens and I wrote about it in in my diary. I dreamed I found a cardboard box in our living room.…
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Sherwood Forest
TRIGGER warning – cult abuse, morbid jealousy. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Princess, 6 years old: Under the green foliage, everything is peaceful. Snow is melting on the ground and from the trees fall drops of ice cold water. It’s spring. I inhale sweet, crisp…
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Caged Bird
TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, cult abuse, mind control, manipulation. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, Guinevere, Giselle and some who have yet to introduce themselves: If this is Greece We’re the chorus in a tragedy Oh tell us Princess How did he freeze…
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House of Night
TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, cult abuse. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Guinevere: It’s a solemn looking house, old stone towering so high it blocks out the sun. You’re standing on the first step of stairs leading up to an ornamented door. It’s cold…
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Circles
TRIGGER warning – cult abuse, cult information. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Link to previous post: Bianca, almost 6 years old: First time I stood on the porch outside Elijah’s house, I felt a little nervous – I had never played with him outside kindergarten…
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Wild Dusk
Day and night, day and night, day and night. Night and day, night and day, night and day. Day and night… I’m balancing on the stone ledge of a flowerbed, singing those words over and over. It’s a monotonous melody and I feel slightly hypnotized. I no longer hear what other people tell me (”Stop…
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Stairs to my nightmares
BIG Trigger Warning – Cult stuff, child sexual abuse, physical abuse I see them in my dreams sometimes. Stairs, leading down. Hard corners and sharp edges, such that will really hurt you if you trip and tumble. The unforgiving kind. I always wonder what I’m doing there. I would never go to a place like this…
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Bianca
Trigger warning – sexual abuse, ptsd Integrating alters is a funny thing. Bianca is who I used to be for so many years. Bianca was an innocent front alter, who did not have a clue to the existence of other alters than herself. Now that I’m integrating more, I’m changing so much, and I feel like…
Writing our heart out 