Etikett: selftreatment
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Cherry blossoms in my heart
TRIGGER warning – violent assault, threats, child sexual abuse, manipulation. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, 6 years old: A soft wind caresses my face and cherry petals carried by it swirl everywhere. I skip to catch the petals, as I walk down the street…
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Whispers from lost days
This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, teenager: High summer and not a cloud in the sky. A soft breeze sways the branches of the trees as we walk slowly down the old familiar road. It’s such a beautiful day, but I feel empty. I’m taking…
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Tiger Cub
TRIGGER warning – bondage, forced sedation, threats and physical violence. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca: It was so vivid. I was in my teens and I wrote about it in in my diary. I dreamed I found a cardboard box in our living room.…
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Sherwood Forest
TRIGGER warning – cult abuse, morbid jealousy. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Princess, 6 years old: Under the green foliage, everything is peaceful. Snow is melting on the ground and from the trees fall drops of ice cold water. It’s spring. I inhale sweet, crisp…
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Caged Bird
TRIGGER warning – child sexual abuse, cult abuse, mind control, manipulation. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Bianca, Guinevere, Giselle and some who have yet to introduce themselves: If this is Greece We’re the chorus in a tragedy Oh tell us Princess How did he freeze…
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Circles
TRIGGER warning – cult abuse, cult information. This is out of context unless the blog has been read in a chronological order. Link to previous post: Bianca, almost 6 years old: First time I stood on the porch outside Elijah’s house, I felt a little nervous – I had never played with him outside kindergarten…
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Wild Dusk
Day and night, day and night, day and night. Night and day, night and day, night and day. Day and night… I’m balancing on the stone ledge of a flowerbed, singing those words over and over. It’s a monotonous melody and I feel slightly hypnotized. I no longer hear what other people tell me (”Stop…
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Stairs to my nightmares
BIG Trigger Warning – Cult stuff, child sexual abuse, physical abuse I see them in my dreams sometimes. Stairs, leading down. Hard corners and sharp edges, such that will really hurt you if you trip and tumble. The unforgiving kind. I always wonder what I’m doing there. I would never go to a place like this…
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Bianca
Trigger warning – sexual abuse, ptsd Integrating alters is a funny thing. Bianca is who I used to be for so many years. Bianca was an innocent front alter, who did not have a clue to the existence of other alters than herself. Now that I’m integrating more, I’m changing so much, and I feel like…
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Mother
The word Mother brings to mind a woman sprung from a nineteenth century novel. She supports the whole family and creates a safe haven within the home, always patient, always smiling kindly. She does her best to carry life’s burdens so that they do not reach the shoulders of her children. In grief, poverty or fear, she…
Writing our heart out 